


You put your arms around me and I'm home

by Neuqe



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, I promise it is mostly fluffy, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of past child abuse, Mostly Fluff, Prompt Fic, So much fluff and lame puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 09:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11666463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neuqe/pseuds/Neuqe
Summary: Jace is upset and Simon's solution is to cheer him up with the power of blanket forts, sci-fi movies and puns.





	You put your arms around me and I'm home

**Author's Note:**

> The whole idea for this fic started from a twitter conversation between me and Jacky, and somehow I ended up writing this mess of fluff. In any case, this fic is dedicated to Jacky who is super awesome and lovely and gives the best fic ideas <3

Simon hates accounting with burning passion.

He tries his best to focus on his accounting textbook, but it is utterly boring and confusing, and frankly, he could not care less about balance sheets or ratio analysis.

The only thing he gains from hours of attempting to study is an awful headache. The couch in his cramped apartment is too comfortable and soft. The faint sound of rain hitting the windowsill is not helping him to stay alert.

All he wants to do is to a take a nap and forget that someone has ever invented accounting and the fact that he is studying it.

He is deeming his attempted study session useless, when he hears a sound that sounds suspiciously lot as if someone was opening his window.

He tenses up, and suddenly all of the exhaustion from his body is gone. He is completely aware of his surroundings, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Jace on his balcony, trying to climb in from the window.

Simon sighs in relief and lets himself to relax again. He smiles as he watches Jace’s attempt to climb in. Of course, he climbs in as gracefully as one can through a narrow and smallish window.

Simon abandons his accounting book to the coffee table because he does not think he will be doing much studying with Jace being there with him, even though he does not know how long Jace will be staying.

He has a habit of coming and going. A part of it is due to his ridiculous work schedule as a shadowhunter, but a part of it is just _him._

He does not stress about the time of the day or schedules, and he does not like to stay still for a long time. He needs to do something to stay at ease.

Jace does spend a lot of time at his apartment, even though the length of his visits varies from minutes to days. Yet, his visits are frequent. He comes by at least once a day, sometimes even when Simon is not there, and only evidence of his visits are small notes he leaves for him.

Simon likes it a lot. It is ridiculous, almost pathetic, how much he likes his visits after all these months. The fact that Jace wants to see him every day makes him feel happy and wanted.

It makes him happy that Jace is comfortable enough to come over when he wishes to.

“This apartment may be not be the best, but it still has a fully functional door,” Simon says amusedly as he watches Jace close the window behind him.

The apartment is really small, and little shabby, and there are leaking pipes, but Simon still adores it. It is better than the boathouse.

“I do know that. It’s right there,” Jace says matter-of-factly with a small gesture towards the door.

It is not the first time Jace uses the window instead of the door. Simon cannot come up with any valid reason why he refuses to use the door, and so far, Jace has been unable to give a proper answer.

Simon is ready to start the familiar conversation that starts with asking why he refuses to use the door like most of the people, but he stays silent as he notices multiple things at the same time. 

Jace is soaking wet. Water drips from his clothes to Simon’s hideous brown carpet, and his hair looks as if it has been glued to his forehead, and drops of water glister on his skin.

Simon only now realises there is a strange edge in Jace’s voice and his whole demeanour seems exhausted and defeated. His eyes look sorrowful, even though he tries to hide it. He looks downright miserable.

It does not take that long for Simon to realise Jace is upset about something.

It seems that he is not injured and Simon cannot smell any blood, and he deduces Jace’s pain is not physical, but he is still clearly hurt.

Jace refuses to look at him and he seems reluctant to show his pain, but Simon considers it as a progress that he came over and he is not completely trying to deny and hide his suffering from him.

He knows showing and talking about his feelings when feeling weak or vulnerable is still difficult for Jace. He fully understands why, and he is trying his best to earn Jace’s trust in these situations because he wants to be there for him. To help him, comfort him and ease his burdens. To make him feel that he is not alone.

He is aware that is a slow progress, and the last thing he wants to do is push or pressure him too much.

Simon rushes to his side, and gently traces his jawline with his finger. It is a small touch, but it makes Jace look up, and actually look at him for the first time since he climbed in.

Up close, Simon thinks he can see just from Jace’s eyes that something is bothering him. He looks absent and doleful with some sort of defensiveness. As if he anticipates his reaction to be bad, daring him to make a remark about his pain.

It breaks Simon’s heart a little.

“Hey, what happened? Are you okay?” He tries to ask as it gently as he can with warm smile even though he is convinced that his worry shines through it.

“I’m fine,” Jace mutters, completely dodging the first question. He glances at the sleeve of his leather jacket. Small drops of water still fall from it to the floor.

Simon decides to take this as a hint that he is not yet ready to talk about whatever is bothering him, and Simon does not want to pressure him and throw him into the deep end of the pool by asking more questions.

He slides his hand along Jace’s arm. His jacket is damp and cold under his palm.

 “You look like you fell into Hudson,” Simon tries to joke to enlighten the mood, and possibly steer the conversation to another direction.

“Maybe I did,” Jace says, and even though his voice is still quieter than usually, his mouth twitches slightly and resembles a half smile.

“You know what? We cannot be joking about stuff like this. I mean there’s at least sixty percent chance that it did happen. You and Clary once did dive into a lake that gives hallucinations, and that stuff already defies all the statistics. Falling into a river is completely plausible.”

In a way, it sounds absurd, but then again absurd became the new normal when he learned about the existence of shadow world. He is ready to believe almost anything.

Simon is also perfectly aware that his boyfriend is a trouble magnet while on missions. He might also lack a little bit of self-preservation and has reckless tendencies. All of that leads to the weird stab wounds and scratches, sprained ankles, dislocated shoulders and knees and broken bones.

Jace probably has a record of most mission related incident reports in the history of the institute.

He would not put falling into a river past Jace’s ability to attract trouble while hunting.    

“For the record, I have never fallen into river while on a mission.”

“That implies you have fallen into a river,” Simon answers with a smirk.

Jace’s half smile starts to resemble a genuine one. “I’m not confirming or denying.”

Simon hums as a response as he frantically tries to come up with a way to continue the conversation without circling back to whatever topic he is trying to avoid.

However, Jace is faster.

“Can I stay for the night? I don’t feel like going back to the institute right now,” he says quickly, and the tiny smile is gone from his face.

“Yeah, of course,” Simon says and stammers only slightly as he is a little taken aback by the question.

He cannot recall Jace ever asking a permission to stay, not that he even needed one, they usually just accidently fall asleep together and in the morning Jace has either left to the morning practise or he is still there. It is simple, uncomplicated and it works for them.

“You can stay over whenever you want. I like it when you’re here,” he continues, thinking that his earlier answer was inadequate.

Jace nods and flashes a quick smile, and silence falls between them for a moment until Jace breaks it again.

“It was raining,” he starts to explain, “and I needed to walk around a bit. A lot on my mind, and I needed to sort out my thoughts.”

Simon glances out of the window. It is not pouring down, merely a drizzle, and a short walk in the rain should not have made his clothes soaking wet.

It must have been a long walk, and the realisation does not ease his worry. He decides not to comment on it because it seems Jace is not willing to talk about it more.

“We have to get you out of those wet clothes in any case,” Simon informs, and walks to the adjacent bathroom and brings a huge towel with him.

“If you wanted me naked, you could have just asked,” Jace answers with a smirk as he takes off his jacket, but the edge is still present in his voice.

Simon groans, but cannot fight off a smile, but he tries his best to hide it from Jace. He places the towel on the couch before he walks to the bedroom to find some clothes for him.

“Come up with better pick-up lines,” Simon tells as he rummages through the closet.

He returns to the living room with his old band t-shirt and worn-out sweatpants and tosses them to Jace, who has already stripped down to only his underwear.

“Why would I? They worked on you,” Jace announces smugly and grins brightly as he collects the wet and dry clothes and reaches for the towel.

“A fact that I’m not particularly proud of,” Simon deadpans.

Jace laughs briefly, and it sounds genuine. Simon hops on the top of the armrest of the couch and he does not bother hiding his smile.

“That hurts, truly,” Jace says, and tries his best not to smile, but he is failing miserably. “But it’s okay, I know you secretly like them,” he continues, and walks up to Simon.

Simon rolls his eyes fondly, and Jace throws the pile of clothes to the couch, and kisses him.

Jace cups his face, and Simon instinctively places his hands on Jace’s waist, and pulls him closer. It is a slow kiss, as if they would have all the time in the world. Yet, it is incredibly sweet and gentle, filled with affection.

It is the type of kiss, Simon thinks, that would make his knees go weak if he was not sitting on the armrest.

It is nowhere near the most intense kiss they have shared, yet they both are slightly panting when they eventually depart.

He does not pull that far away, and he can still feel Jace’s breath on his face. It takes a moment for Simon to recollect his thoughts.

“Like you like my puns?” He says, mirroring Jace’s bright grin.

Jace looks perplexed for a moment. The kiss must have scrambled his thoughts as well, and Simon tries not to feel too smug about it.

When Jace realises what he meant, he groans. “That’s a totally different thing.”

“Bad pick-up lines equal bad puns, there has to be some sort of balance to this relationship,” Simon chuckles, and mock kicks Jace’s leg with his foot. “Go and take a shower before you freeze to death.”

“I will as soon as you let go of my waist.”

Simon pulls his hands slowly away and raises them up in defeat, making Jace laugh again.

Jace, however, is not doing any effort to move and merely keeps staring at him. He ruffles his own hair, making it stick to various directions, as his hair is still damp.

“Wanna join me?” He asks with a mischievous smile, nodding to the general direction of the shower, but his gaze lingers on his lips.

“I don’t think we would be doing that much showering if I did,” Simon tells truthfully.

It is a fact. He knows it from experience.

“At least I’d warm up.”

Simon is convinced he could hear the smirk in Jace’s voice if he did not see it. It is a brilliant smirk, the kind of that could outshine the morning sun.

“I wish I could,” Simon tells apologetically, “I have to finish reading a chapter on cash balance. Or something like that. I’m not even sure what the chapter is about. Bottom line is that I need to read it.”

“Sure,” Jace answers and seems completely unbothered by the fact that Simon is choosing a book over him. He picks up the towel and clothes, dry and wet, from the couch.

“Happy reading,” he says as he walks past him and kisses his cheek.

“Thanks,” he answers, but Jace has already closed the bathroom door.

Simon hops off the armrest and he does not read the book. Even though he knows, he should. He was not lying when he said he does not know what he is reading about, and that generally is not a good sign while studying.

He, however, knows that Jace is not all right. His skills at reading Jace are far superior to his skills at understanding his accounting book. Just because Jace is laughing, flirting, smiling and seemingly carefree does not mean he is over whatever was upsetting him.

Jace is the reigning world champion of putting his feelings into boxes and then pushing them away. He chooses not to feel them or deal with them and continues with his life because emotions cloud judgement and all of that nonsense.

Simon is very tempted to punch Valentine merely for teaching that mentality to Jace.

He does not understand how Jace is even able to hide his feelings that deep and pretend not to notice them. Simon would never be able to do it.

Yet, they are both aware it is not the healthiest way to cope with feelings and in time things will bottle up and something will eventually make everything inside of him blow up. Simon knows emotional explosions or implosions are not beautiful things to witness or to experience.

He knows that Jace is not faking his smiles or laughter, but he is not dealing with the matter, either. He is ignoring it, and Simon is not going to force him to deal with it, but he wants to try his best to cheer him up.

That is what he knows how to do. Trying to make others laugh.

He knows Jace will take his time in shower. He has the tendency to take long showers, and Simon does not know why.

He has not come up with a way to ask why he spends twenty minutes in a shower, and Simon is planning in the back of his mind to show him a twenty-slide powerpoint presentation about the climate change with lots of pictures about polar bears on thin sheets of ice.

He has doubted once or twice whether shadowhunters know about climate change. Anyway, for once he is grateful for the length of Jace’s environment destroying showers as it gives him time to do _something._

That something ends up being a blanket fort.

It is the first thing that comes into his mind and frankly, it is the best idea he has.

He builds a blanket fort to the living room within the limited space he has available. It is not a masterpiece of engineering. He uses at least five different but equally garnish blankets and one old tablecloth. The couch and coffee table are essential in preventing the fort from falling apart and a mop’s handle provides additional structure.

He fills it with puffy pillows and soft blankets and duvets. It is not the prettiest blanket fort Simon has seen and he is seriously starting to question how many blankets he owns, but the fort seems not to collapse even though some of the blankets hang slightly.

Next part of his improvised plan of cheering Jace up includes finding something to eat.

Generally, Simon tries his best to be a good host for his friends and family members who visit his apartment. He tries his best to keep something else besides blood in his fridge.

His friends and Jace probably would understand if he ran out of proper food but he is sure that Rebecca or his mom would not appreciate if the only thing they could find from his fridge were bags of o-negative.

Simon is willing to admit that the variety of choice is not large, but at least he is trying.

He hears the bathroom door open and close as he is still on his knees in front of the fridge, rummaging through the lowest shelves.

“What is that?” Jace asks, perplexed.

He stands in the middle of the living room, wearing Simon’s clothes, and stares at the blanket fort with certain degree of suspicion and amusement as he attempts to dry his hair with the towel.

“A blanket fort,” Simon answers and peers out behind the fridge door, “I mean it’s not the best blanket fort I have seen, but at least it looks like a one. There’s definitely at least resemblance to a blanket fort. It tries very hard to be a one.”

Jace merely hums as a response.

Simon pulls out a pizza box and one cheese pickles sandwich from the fridge and gets up from the floor. He is rather convinced that the pizza box contains only half of a pizza and the whole food situation looks pathetic enough for him to move on to the cupboards.

“Are you really making me ask the obvious question of why did you build it?” Jace asks amusedly.

Simon takes a half-full bag of cheese balls from one of the cupboards and puts it to the table with rest of the leftovers.

He walks closer to Jace and reaches for his hand. He gently holds it in his own.

“Rebecca and I used to build ones when we were small and upset about something. It made us feel like we could hide from whatever was making us sad. It felt as if nothing else even existed except us inside of the fort. It’s an old habit, but pretty much the only thing I know to do when someone is upset,” Simon explains with a small laugh.

As soon as he says it, Jace’s gaze falls down to the floor.

Simon traces patterns with his thumb against the back of Jace’s hand. “I can see you’re upset about something,” he says softly.

Jace remains silent, but he does not pull his hand away, which prompts Simon to continue.

“I don’t know why you’re upset and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. If you want to, then I’m here for you. If you don’t want to, then I’m still here but I’ll try to distract you from whatever is causing you to be miserable.”

Jace lets go of his hand, but only to pull him into a tight embrace.

“You didn’t have to do all of this,” he whispers.

“I know,” Simon answers with a smile even though Jace cannot see it. “But you know, I’m supposed to be your shoulder or rock or whatever metaphoric expression you wish to use and I wanted to cheer you up.”

Jace laughs quietly, and his fists clench harder to the fabric of Simon’s t-shirt, and he burrows his face into his shoulder.

Simon hugs him a little tighter and gently traces a circular pattern against his back with his hand.

“Thank you,” Jace says so quietly against his shoulder that it is almost a whisper.

Even though it is a quiet thank you, he says with enough force for him to instantly to know that he truly means it.

“Fair warning, the fort might collapse on us,” Simon says, breaking the silence.

Jace snorts. “Sounds romantic. Almost as romantic as that meal over there,” he continues and nods towards the table.

“Hey,” Simon tries his best not to smile. “First of all everything on that table is perfectly edible and none of that stuff is expired. If you want something more, there’s a jar of beetroot in the fridge. Second of all, I’m a very romantic person and you know it.”

“Nine out of ten people agree that not giving your boyfriend a food poisoning is one of the most romantic things one can do in a relationship,” Jace announces with a huge grin.

Simon buries his head into his hands and groans exasperatedly. “I think I hate you a little.”

“No, you don’t,” Jace announces whimsically and moves closer to the table to examine the sandwich.

“You’re right,” Simon mumbles, and watches Jace to pick out the pickles from his sandwich when a rune on Jace’s neck catches his attention.

He is not sure why he did not pay attention to it earlier, but Simon is convinced it is a new one.

There is something disturbingly familiar about the rune, but he cannot name it. He has seen it before, he is sure of it, but he cannot remember where.

He knows Jace does not have it anywhere else on his body, but the sharp edges and thick lines of the rune scream familiarity. To be honest, all runes seem similar to him but there is something different about this one.

He cannot explain why this particular rune fascinates him. It looks gorgeous and delicate at the same time and Simon cannot stop staring at it. It is mesmerizing. The way the rune curves right below his jawline is captivating.

“What pickles have ever done to you?” Simon asks with a chuckle as he walks up to him and notices the pile of pickles on the table.

“They just taste wrong,” Jace says with a shrug.

“Fair enough.”

Simon still cannot stop thinking about the rune. He brushes it with his finger and Jace tenses up for a moment under his touch, but relaxes immediately again, and Simon is not sure if he just imagined it.

“That’s a new one,” he remarks with genuine curiosity in his voice.

“Yeah,” Jace answers, but is still more focused on getting rid of the pickles from his sandwich.

“What is it for?”

“Shadowhunting,” He answers without missing a beat and flashes a smile.

Simon rolls his eyes as a response.

“So it’s for the all honourable shadowhunter qualities? Like always having a great hair day and waking up inhumanely early?” Simon jokes as he senses that Jace is reluctant to elaborate more on it.

“Something along those lines,” Jace says, corner of his mouth twitching up.

“Of course,” Simon answers as seriously as he can but he ends up grinning and kissing Jace’s cheek. “But now to the fort, I didn’t spend ten minutes building that disaster for us not to use it.”

It does not take long until both of them have crawled inside of the fort, which is considerably less disastrous from the inside.

It is not spacious but it is warm and all the duvets and pillows make it soft and comfortable. It is not as dark as Simon thought it would be but the slight amount of light creates a serene atmosphere.

The fort creates a bubble, just for two of them. It is quiet, rest of the world fades away, and it feels as if no one or nothing else exists. 

Simon loves it. He feels instantly at peace as he leans on to the couch, and Jace right next to him. Jace mostly leans onto him, half resting his head on his shoulder, with their legs tangled together under a soft blanket.

Jace has picked up his left hand to hold it, but he keeps playing and fidgeting with their intertwined fingers. His hand is warm and it radiates warmth to Simon’s colder hand.  

Simon cannot hide his beatific smile. The fort and closeness make him feel safe and warmth spreads in his chest.

He only hopes Jace likes it as much as he does. At least, he looks more peaceful than earlier and he is smiling again.

“We gotta continue our grand quest of educating you about pop culture,” Simon chuckles and reaches for his laptop.

Simon has been vaguely aware that shadowhunters’ lives lack a serious amount of mundane culture, but when half of his pop culture references fell short, as Jace did not understand them, Simon decided to do something.

The tradition of their movie nights started before they started dating, and somehow those turned into date nights.

Simon loves their movie nights. Those nights are filled with bickering over which movie to watch, as Jace is usually more than suspicious towards his movie choices. Although, one thing Simon has learnt over the course of their relationship is that he can get Jace to watch almost anything if he just looks at him with his puppy eyes.

Handholding, cuddling and occasional kisses have become integral parts of their movie nights. Jace loves commenting whatever they are watching, especially if the supernatural elements in the movie are inaccurate.

During most of those nights, Jace begins to drowse on the couch, unless he really likes the movie. Sometimes, Simon falls asleep next to him.

Simon would not change their movie nights for the world.

Jace merely hums as a response but he refuses let go of Simon’s hand, which leaves him to use the laptop with only one hand.

“What are we watching?”

“Do you want to choose?” Simon asks, glancing at Jace, who still keeps playing with their intertwined fingers.

“Nah, you can choose,” Jace tells softly, and lifts up their hands to kiss the back of Simon’s hand. “Just nothing too sad.”

“Alright,” Simon says, kissing the top of Jace’s head as he browses through Netflix. “We could try _Star Trek,_ with the reboot movies. The lens flare is so much easier to tolerate as a first time watcher than special effects that were made fifty years ago.”

“If you say so,” Jace says, amusement colouring his voice. A comfortable silence falls between them as the movie starts.

Occasionally, Jace kisses his hand or neck. At the times, he breaks the silence to add his commentary to the movie.

“My only criteria for the movie was not a sad one, and you choose a one where his dad dies in the first five minutes,” he says, glaring at Simon, but there is no real heat behind his words.

“Sorry, but generally the idea behind _Star Trek_ is pretty uplifting,” Simon says, defending his choices, and gently nudges Jace’s side.

Jace sighs, but it sounds as if it is out of fondness.

The silence falls between them again, but Jace breaks it again when the bar fight scene starts on the screen.

“I was on a mission earlier today,” his voice is small and he speaks slowly as if he is not sure what to say next. “We were tracking a werewolf who allegedly had killed mundanes in Brooklyn. Luke guided us towards a lone wolf, without a pack, in the outskirts of the city.”

He keeps a long pause, and his eyes are fixated on the laptop’s screen. Simon squeezes his hand a little tighter.

“We basically knew nothing about them. Some said they had only arrived to the area. Yet, we went after them today,” Jace continues, looking grim. “The wolf ended up being a young girl. Probably no older than sixteen.”

Simon remains quiet, still holding his hand and rubs Jace’s thigh with his free hand in what he hopes is a soothing manner.

“We had her surrounded, but I wanted to talk her before capturing her and turning her over to the clave. There was a good chance she had only recently been turned and she didn’t handle the whole rage and turning thing. I wanted to give her a chance, you know?”

Jace looks at him for the first time since he began explaining. He looks uncertain, and his eyes are shining with sadness.

“Yeah,” Simon agrees gently.

“That wasn’t the case,” Jace says bluntly with a joyless laugh. “She had just gone rogue and she escaped because of my failed attempt to talk to her. If she continues her killing spree, those lives are on me. Their blood is on my hands.”

Jace’s gaze falls down again, and he stares at the screen. His body is tensed up and Simon cannot find the words.

“I did a mistake,” he swallows hard and his voice seems to be only a whisper now. “I don’t even know why it bothers me so much. It’s nowhere near the biggest fuck ups of the institute’s recent history.”

Jace closes his eyes, takes the Herondale family ring, which still hangs on his neck from the chain, into his palm, and closes it into his fist.

“Valentine wasn’t exactly the father of the year when it came to making mistakes,” Jace’s voice is filled with bitterness. “When I played the piano wrong, he would break my fingers. You can imagine what he did to me when I did a mistake while hunting.”

Simon could imagine it, but he does not want to. Not at all. He is already overwhelmed with grief even though it is not his own.

His heart breaks every time Jace tells the cruel details of his childhood. His heart is filled with sorrow, and he feels as if he cannot contain his hatred for Valentine.

He feels helpless because he does not know what to do and he cannot change things that took place a decade ago. Simon fights the urge to hug him, hold him and reassure him that everything will be fine. It is all he wants to do, but he knows it is not what Jace needs right now.

Jace needs his space, and he will tell what he wants to tell on his own pace.

“I didn’t exactly grow up with the idea of being allowed to do mistakes,” Jace tells and his voice quivers a little. “It should be easier now, but it isn’t. There are still certain people who expect me not to do any mistakes,” his voice still sounds bitter, but he also sounds agonised.  

Simon doubts whether he means his grandmother by that, but chooses not to question it.

“Especially now that everyone found out that I’m apparently a Herondale and that I’ve been experimented with celestial blood,” Jace laughs, but joy is absent from his laughter. It is a heart broken laugh.

“That’s why I’m upset. I know it’s kind of stupid,” he says it quickly, and his voice seems defensive as if he thinks Simon would agree with the statement.

Jace stays quiet and stares at the blanket as if it is the most fascinating thing in the whole wide world.

“It’s not stupid,” Simon says as softly as he can.

Jace glances at him and he can see the doubt shining in his eyes.

“If you feel that way, then it’s not stupid,” Simon elaborates. “You have every right to feel in any way about it, and no one has the right to say it’s stupid.”

Jace keeps looking at him with intensity and his eyes reveal the some sort of vigorous emotional turmoil he is experiencing, but all Simon can see is insurmountable amount of affection in his eyes.

“Do you want a hug?” Simon asks next, unsure of how else to comfort him.

He merely nods slowly, but it is enough for him to pull him closer. It is slightly an awkward hug because of their positions, but neither one of them cares. He holds him gently, but firmly, and Jace holds on to him. He can feel his uneven breath against his shoulder.

“I can understand that you feel responsible,” Simon starts carefully, trying to choose the right words. “But if she kills someone else, that’s not your fault.”

He still vividly remembers the terror when he thought he had killed that girl in the alley. Her death was not his fault, but he still feels responsible for it.

Jace makes a sound that sounds like a suppressed sob. Simon holds him little tighter.

“I’m pretty sure Alec is proud of you.”

For him, it sounds like a prime example of the type of action Alec tries to encourage as the head of the institute.

“And for what it is worth, I’m proud of you too,” Simon adds softly.

Jace hums and afterwards he stays quiet. Simon cannot think of anything else to say. Nothing that would matter.

He stays quiet, too, and closes his eyes. Neither of them lets go of each other, so they stay like that.

Simon is unaware how much time passes before Jace eventually pulls himself away. A tiny smile has reappeared on his face when he does so, and he seems visibly more relaxed.

“Thank you,” he says vaguely, but Simon knows exactly what he means.

“Anything for you,” Simon tells sincerely, as he kisses his forehead and reaches for his laptop.

He rewinds the movie to the scene, where they stopped paying attention, and they settle back to watching it.

About half way into the movie, Simon realises he still has one card up in his sleeve when it comes to cheering up his boyfriend.

“What do you call Kirk when he is on a mission?” Simon suddenly asks, as one of the action scenes plays on the screen.

“I don’t know,” Jace answers, perplexed, his eyes darting between Simon and the screen.

“A pan with a plan,” Simon replies proudly, with a chuckle.

Jace groans. “You’re really fond of that pun,” he says, but he does not sound nearly as annoyed or irritated as he intended to sound.

“Because it’s a really good one,” Simon tells matter-of-factly.

He pokes Jace in the arm. “I really like this scene,” he says, making a vague gesture towards the laptop, “I really wanna see how it _pans_ out.” 

Jace huffs, but the sound reminds Simon a lot more of a suppressed laugh. 

“What’s my favourite food?” He asks, snickering, unable to control his own laughter anymore.

“Don’t you dare to say _pan_ cakes,” Jace answers in a long-suffering voice, as if puns were the most unbearable thing on earth.

“I don’t have to because you said it already,” Simon says, grinning brightly. “You’re truly getting the hang of this.”

“I really wish I wasn’t,” Jace replies with a scowl, but Simon can clearly see he is fighting against a smile. “How do you even know this many puns?” He mutters, offhandedly.

“It’s the pansexual agenda,” Simon jokes, “you never know when the world is going to present you with a perfect situation where you can come out via pun.”

“You have done that?” He asks amusement clearly present in his voice.

“Yeah, I came out to Clary with the help of really lame kitchenware pun,” Simon says, laughing at the old memory.

She had been the first person he had told, and it did not go according to the plan. He had thought it a lot and he had whole speech prepared, but then he ended up blurting out because he could not stop himself from telling a pun. Clary had laughed with him, and everything had been fine.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You love my puns, admit it. They’re hilarious and I could tell you so many great bi puns too, if you ever wanna try it, _bi_ the way.”

Jace merely sighs and rolls his eyes more dramatically than necessary, but he cannot keep the fondness out of his eye roll.

“What is pan’s favourite type of bread?”

“I’m not sure if I even wanna know,” Jace replies, and tries his best to frown but he is failing quite spectacularly.

“ _Pan_ ini.”

Jace smiles properly at that one, the smile lights up his whole face, and creates crinkles around his eyes. He tries not to laugh, but he still sputters out a laugh that ends up sounding as if he was suffocating.

“Do you want to hear a _pan_ tastic fact about pans?”

Jace lets go of Simon’s hand and buries his face into his hands. “I’m starting to think these are rhetorical questions,” he grumbles against his palms.

“Pansexuals don’t come out of a closet. We come out of a _pan_ try.”

Simon is not completely sure what happens next, but Jace starts to laugh. At first, he snickers but then he no longer attempts to hold it back. It is a genuine, happy, laughter, and Jace throws his head back as he laughs.

Simon loves music, and he knows that one of the most beautiful things on this earth are sounds, but every time he hears Jace laugh, he is a little dumbfounded how beautiful his laughter is.

It is his favourite sound in the world. He loves to hear it, no matter what, but he doubts that his puns are the cause of his laughter, even though all of his puns are hilarious.

Jace has had a long day and he needs to deal with his stress somehow, and Simon cannot think of a better way than laughing.

It seems that he cannot control his laughter, it is merely bubbling out of him. It sounds so light and blithe, and it definitely is contagious. Simon cannot help but chuckle as he watches Jace completely lose it.

Jace seems content as he laughs and Simon could swear that happiness radiates from him.

Jace shifts his position as he attempts to stop laughing, but all he manages to do is to knock down the fort with his foot.

It happens quickly. The mop handle falls down and takes majority of the blankets down with it, making the entire fort to collapse and bury them under a pile of blankets.

The collapse does not help Jace to control his laughter. It only makes him laugher harder, while Simon tries to pull the blankets away from their faces.

Jace really tries to stop his laughter and he attempts to say something, but every time he opens his mouth to speak, he is interrupted with another wave of laughter, and his words end up being an incoherent mess.

Simon hums happily, as he looks at the pathetic ruins of their fort.

“I love you,” Jace breathes out between his laughter, but as soon as he realises what he said, his laughter dies out.

It is the first time he has said it aloud. Simon has not said it, either, even though he is aware of the fact that he is in love with Jace.

Simon has to reconsider his opinions. Only minutes ago, he was convinced that Jace’s laughter is the most beautiful sound in the world, but he was wrong.

The most beautiful sound definitely is Jace saying he loves him.

Merely hearing it fills Simon with overwhelming happiness. If he still had a pulse, he is sure his heart would skip a beat or two. He still feels as if his undead heart is bursting from pure happiness.

He realises he still has not said anything when he sees Jace’s face. His head hangs low, and he twitches his fingers, which is his nervous habit when he cannot fidget with his stele.

It is clear that he is avoiding Simon’s gaze, and his face displays various emotions at the same time. He looks uncertain, almost insecure, and confused. As if his own head has not caught up with what he just said.

Simon is quite convinced he could watch Jace to go through the seven stages of grief if he stared at him long enough.

“Jace,” he starts gently, hoping that Jace’s turmoil is not caused because he regrets his sudden love confession, and tries to smile as reassuringly as he can.

He looks up slowly, but his eyes are glistering with hope.

“I love you, too,” Simon says, his whole face softening.

It is the most effortless thing to say, and he already wants it to say it again.

“Yeah?” Jace breathes out with a flabbergasted smile.

“Yeah, like a lot,” Simon replies, unable to control his smile.

Jace’s face breaks into an enormous grin and he closes the short distance between them to kiss him.  It is a short kiss, more of a peck on the lips, because they cannot stop grinning, which makes kissing a little more challenging.

Jace makes a happy tiny sound as they depart, and Simon has never been happier. The rays of sun hit Jace’s hair, making it look more golden than usually, and his grin is so radiant that it is possibly brighter than the sun itself.

Simon cherishes that smile.

“I wanted to say it differently,” Jace admits under his breath, “in a way that doesn’t seem like an accident.”

The idea of Jace planning a way to tell him those three little words for the first time does unfair things to Simon’s heart.

“Hey, that was perfect. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Simon whispers back, smiling beatifically.

Jace smiles at him softly, apparently satisfied with his answer.

“It’s a love rune, isn’t it?” Simon suddenly blurts out, almost surprising himself too, as he finally connects the dots.

He realises that the rune had seemed familiar because Alec and Aline have similar ones, and they had once called them love runes.

Somehow, he is absolutely convinced that the new rune on Jace’s neck is a love rune, too.

“Yeah,” Jace confesses in a hushed tone, his eyes darting around the room, as if he cannot decide where to look.

He seems almost timid to admit it, and even though for some people Jace being anything resembling to shy might be ridiculous, but he knows that Jace has his own insecurities about certain things, such as rejection.

“Why didn’t you tell me what it is?” Simon asks without any traces of acquisition in his voice, because he has no intentions to guilt trip him about this.

“I don’t know,” Jace says with a shrug, and scratches his neck. “I was nervous about it and then I started thinking that maybe you wouldn’t like it.”

He is still smiling, but his smile is dim and reserved.

Simon runs his finger along the rune. “It’s beautiful.”

He usually does not care about the runes, but he thinks this one looks almost divine. Simon is rather sure that it is because of the idea behind this particular rune.

Jace’s humming sounds delighted.  

“Does it do anything?” Simon asks with genuine curiosity, as he is the first one to admit that he has a lack of knowledge when it comes to runes.

“No,” Jace shakes his head and his smile is warm, “it’s just a symbol.”

Simon nods, even though he does not understand it completely, and breaks into a huge grin.  “So you got yourself a new rune on your neck because you wanted to declare your undying love for me,” Simon half-jokes.

“I didn’t say anything about undying love,” Jace says, deadpan.

“It was implied.”

“Yeah, it was,” Jace admits with a fond chuckle, and his smile is beaming.

Simon cannot remember when he would have been this happy. It feels as if he is delirious with happiness.

He cannot wrap his head around the idea of love rune, or why Jace has willingly taken one because of him, but he is still overjoyed, and most importantly, he feels loved.

“I love it,” Simon tells honestly.

Jace’s enamoured smile is enough to make him feel like he is falling in love all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! All the mistakes are mine, and english isn't my first language, so there might be some mistakes. I also have no idea how love runes work would actually work in canon. The title is from a song called 'Arms' by Christina Perri, and it's totally a jimon song.


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